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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

WBZ Red Sox Alert: Mike Lowell placed on 15 day DL. Visit for more team news.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Game ended. Mets lost.
*Kobe Bryant lawsuit

The BEANO Murders By A New Author

His pen name is Ross M Mac Duncan-The Two State Investigation runs all over The Emerald Necklace of Boston. It's about murder & corruption In The Highest Places and the Underlings who do the dirty work to protect those bosses, looking for rewards at any cost:

Ross has a powerful story to tell. When the Novel Comes out, I'll let everybody know;

The Pez Report


BREAKING NEWS FROM CBS 2HD: Bernard Madoff has been sentenced to 150 years in prison with no parole. Go to for more.

From 126th Street & Roosevelt Avenue-There Is NO Intelligent Life There

No Backup Plan/Owners who're b-lls--t/A GM who should dumped in the Dunk Tank along w/the Owners & a Radio Dropped in/That's not a team/that's a time killing amusement device/it's Amateur Night:

Destroying both the Farm System and the Bullpen to get even with someone for a Contract Extension/Consulting with a washed up couple of Stiffs, to rid yourself of your Top Prospect to obtain another STIFF;

You're trying NOT to be competitive. Who cares about The Shake Shack or The Ebbets Club. Fans want a Team, NOT excuses;

The Pez Report


WBZ Alert: 6Mets Press Conference at 3AM. Go to

Sunday, June 28, 2009

JEFFY? You Need to GFY

At Professor Thoms', we have "The Riviera List". This is where every name is preceded by the "F" Word:

F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--K Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy. F--k Jeffy & so on;

Tim Redding? On what kind of drugs are you on, Jeffy! People are realizing that Omar Mif--kingimaya isn't the GM except in name only, because your running the latest attempt to set up Jerry Manuel, in the attempt to name Manny Acta as Mgr of this version of the Latin Kings. You had Willie Randolph set up because he supposedly beat you out of $.55(Price of Rheingold at Shea Stadium in 1969);

You're running a 5th World Franchise. You encourage Farting in a $iti Field Elevator. You're a F--king a--h-l-. Fans call you an a--h-l- and f--king retard. ONLY YOU can turn Mets Fans into Yankee Fans;

The Metspos-I remember that you were a draft choice of the Montreal Expos, who you've patterned the Mets after. Sell, Jeffy, Sell, both You & your Old Man;

You need to GFY, just like Fitzy says;

The Pez Report


Thursday, June 25, 2009

Citi Gives A Nod To Fenway Park

A Section like 401, in Shea Stadium, would mean behind Home Plate, as Even and Odd #d Sections fanned out in both directions:

Promenade Box 401, Follows the Fenway Park System. Like Grandstand 1, it's out by the Outfield. Sections in Citi follow the Fenway System;

It's definitely NOT Shea Stadium in any way, shape or form;

The Pez Report


WHY It's So Much Fun Being A Boston Red Sox Fan Here In The 5 Boroughs

Maybe, it's really a part of New York where you can be anything you want to be:

Our Pubs may be open until 4:00AM(Boston's Latest Closing time is 2:00AM);

Our Subways run 24/7, though the service does suck, shortly after 12:00M;

You're the Guy or Gal, people go to for Subway Directions to Brooklyn;

We call Yankee Stadium by its informal name, "The Toilet";

We call Fenway Park Home and Citi Field, a great place;

Our Fans have some understanding that Mets Ownership/Management are a bunch of Clueless Putzes(Got that, JEFFY? They'll NEVER Win w/you around);

Lovely, University Educated Ladies want to associate with you;

Tim Mc Carver is NOT an Intellectual;

Joe Buck is a self-centered Twit;

The YES Network is called either "Yankees Entertainment Sucks" or North Korean Television;

It's your style;

Besides, many people wearing NY Yankees Caps are tourists, anyway & not REAL Baseball Fans;

The Pez Report


Saturday, June 20, 2009

WBZ Red Sox Alert: Dice K has Flatulence. He will miss 15 Days. What a gas! The Pe 9 9 The Pez Report
WBZ Red Sox alert: Terry Francona announces Dice-K is out of rotation indefinitely. Visit for more Red Sox news.

From Two Of My Spies At $iti Field

This should come as no shock. Minaya made some good deals to get the Mets to be competetive. He hired a Good Man with Willie Randolph:

Unfortunately, Jeffy Wilpon(That Putz), despised Willie with a Passion because of a Contract Extension, so Jeffy The Putz wanted Willie out in the Worst Way. Minaya's Talent Evaluator was turned into Jeffy's Clubhouse Disrupter. The Bullpen was ordered downgraded by Jeffy The Putz, so he could get even with Randolph. The Plot worked so well that the team blew it on the last day of the Season;

It was a page out of Freddie Wilpon's Book of Sabotage;

The Problem is that Minaya never stands up to Jeffy The Putz, making Minaya look like a Putz;

Freddie(Bernie From Far Rockaway)Wilpon did this a lot to Steve Phillips, now a Clueless Putz on E S P N. Phillips was about to consumate a Blockbuster Trade which was approved by Doubleday. Freddie disapproved of it to get even with Doubleday;

When Is Putz Day Scheduled at $iti Field?

The Pez Report


KK Was Sharp-Dice K Was As Sharp As Omar Minaya, Which Is NOT Saying Much

Kenshin Kakawaka was very sharp, as the Atlanta Braves rolled over The Red Sox at The Fens, 8-2:

Dice K was as sharp as Steve Trachsel(& as Slow), in giving up 6 runs in 4 1/3 Innings. Dice-K was as sharp as that trade Minaya made for Luis Castillo. His 2nd pitch to Nate Mc Louth, landed in the Bullpen. It was a Night Of Intense Sucktitude, with Scott Boras laughing all the way to the Bank, as "Agent To The Stars";

Is it my imagination or is that Japanese Baseball Stars aren't all that hot after 3 Years, especially Pitchers:

Pap? Please S T F U,& cut all that Yankees Talk- You're making us Nuts;

The Pez Report


Friday, June 19, 2009

From "Sophocles Of The Diamond"

"Shea was old when it was new and Old Yankee Stadium, never got old":

"The last time the Giants had a runner on was in the 4th Inning with Youkilis";

" I think Youkilis would make a good #8 Hitter with the pitcher's spot due up";

"I believe that Alex Rodriguez may be responsible for Global Warming";

Tomorrow, Sophocles will be on FOX, from $iti Field/Mets vs Rays;

I'm not going to mention Tim Mc Carver's Name(Wait, I just did);

The Pez Report


The Washington Nationals Did THIS

Took 2/3 from The Yankees at Their Bandbox. Tonight, after a 5:28 Rain Delay, the Yankees were shut out in The Bandbox Built For Derek Jeter & A-Rod:

No Homers were hit by anybody. Stammen was the Winning Pitcher. Joba The Thug Chamberlain was the loser;

At least there was NO ONE named Luis Castillo in the Lineup;

Final was 3-0 Nationals;

Note-The Montreal Expos/Washington Nationals have a common thing/Omar Minaya did a lot of damage to them as the Expos, just like he's doing to the NY Mets;

The Pez Report


Thursday, June 18, 2009

A Woodhaven Born Dude Did The Right Thing

John Lannan defeated The Yankmes 3-2, this evening:

Born in Woodhaven, Queens, he grew up in Long Beach, in Nassau County;

The Yankmes lost 3-2/ Adam Dunn homered to a very deep part of New Yankee Stadium;

Nice to Know;

The Pez Report


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Child At Class Story Time

It was class story time. It was about how fathers earn a living. One child said her father was a Detective. Another said that the father was a Sanitation Man:

Little Johnny told the class that his father was an exotic dancer in a gay bath house. He said that his father would dance and do lewd things;

His teacher called him out into the hall. The teacher asked him just what is the problem & what does the father do for a living;

Johnny agreed to tell the class the truth. He told them, ashamedly, that "My Dad works for the NY Mets. You see, he's their General Manager";

To which a child, whose last name starts with a Q, cracked "And He's a Big, Fat Idiot & a Clueless Putz"

The Pez Report-Humor


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Johan Is Having Trouble With His Fastball

It may be a medical thing, as the fast ball is under 90 MPH. He could be hiding an injury:

I suspect it may be MRI Time, for Johan Santana;

No power in his pitches at all;

WHY is he still in at being down by 6 Runs?


The Pez Report


Chastity Is Becoming A "Guy"? Huh?

Sonny Bono must be rolling over in his grave. His Daughter is going through a SEX Change:

This to "Marry" her Lover(Partner) in CA;

She had a sweet face in 1993 at age 24. Today, Chastity is known as Chaz and looms Rather-Large;

I've known my share of Lesbians. Often, my best Red Sox Game-Watching Mates are Lesbians. We party together, rather-nicely;

I have to ask Chaz one thing-can (s)he create life with the wife;

With Medical Technology the way it is, Nature is being altered;

& it's NOT nice, nor moral to try to fool "Mother Nature";

The Pez Report


Sophocles Was Wrong(Again) As Mets Clock Andy Pettitte & The Yankees, 6-2

"Sophocles" was WRONG Again. Doc Gooden Is Gary Sheffield's UNCLE, NOT Nephew. "Sophocles", in this case, IS Tim Mc Carver:

Gary Sheffield put one in the LF Seats at that Wiffleball Park/Bandbox, called Yankee Stadium. So did Mets Catcher Omir Santos, only for 2 Runs;

Good Ol' Andy Pettitte, Old Friend of Roger Clemens, only lasted 5 Innings. That Horse's Patoot, A-Ro(i)d, homered off Mets Starter, Fernando Nieve, who went 6 2/3 Innings, and hadn't pitched in M L B since '06 with Houston. He was Rather-Brilliant, on this day;

The Rubber Match is on the CW 11, tomorrow. Stay Clear of viewing North Korean Television(YES), with Michael Kay;

Luis Castillo was 2/5. He didn't hurt any small animals;

The PEZ Report


Saturday, June 13, 2009

Omar Minaya, Jeffy Wilpon & Fred Wilpon Are 3 F--king A--h-les

Absolute F--king Useless A--h-les! Add The ABSO-F--king USELESS Luis Castillo and you have an "Absolutely F--king USELESS Barber Shop Quartet":

Instead of restocking The Farm System & getting High Quality Players, Omar Minaya, a COWARD and Coffee Boy for the Heretofore ABSOLUTELY Idiotic JEFFY Wilpon, who Mets Fans call "An A--h-le & A Retard", just follows along with what ever Jeffy The Baboon, says. Hiring that Treacherous Buffoon, Tony Bernezard, who wants Manny Acta as Manager so badly, was a MAJOR Error In Judgement, as Bernezard, who SUCKED as a 2nd Baseman with The Montreal Expos, became Jeffy The Baboon's Advisor on how to run Willie Randolph out on the next #7 Train;

Over the Winter of '06/'07, NO Moves were made by the FO, except to bring in Lower Quality Players to get even with Willie Randolph, for a Contract Extension, as well as to build Fred & Jeffy's Cash Machine & Rumpus Room(Citi Field). Luis Castillo was old & slow, yet signed to a 4 Year Deal;

The Deal Blew up, tonight, becoming Fodder for Propaganda on North Korean Television(The YES Network), as broadcast by Kim Il Sung, I mean That Putz, Michael Kay, describing how the ball dropped i/f/o The Useless Castillo, who Francisco(K-Rod)Rodriguez wanted to throw under a speeding D Train, with the Mets Losing 9-8;

My Advice to The Wilpon Gang-As You're absof--kinglutely ruining EVERYTHING, Sell The Mets and take Omar The Garbage Dealer and Bernezard with you. You're running a 5th Rate Bananna Republic & Rest Home for burned out players;

Buffalo In The IL, is the WORST Leading Farm Club in The International League. Binghamton in The AA Eastern League, is the WORST Team in THAT League. It means that your Farm System does NOT EXIST. This is a "S--ta--" Farm System;

The Pez Report RAGE Edition


Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Tonight On The Yankees Entertainment SUCKS Network, We Will Have To Endure Michael Kay-NOT Good News For "The Nation" In NYC

YES-The Yankees Entertainment SUCKS Network, will be home to tonight's match between the Red Sox & Yankees, for Red Sox Nation-NY Area. Michael Kay will drive us to drink(HEAVILY)with his drivel, which sounds like Hank Steinbrenner is standing in the TV Booth with a shotgun:

A J Burnett vs Josh Beckett at 7:10PM from The Fens;

Because we're in NYC, NO N E S N;

No Eck and No DO;

As a compromise, I'd prefer Gary, Keith and Ron-They informed & entertained us on S N Y during Mets-Red Sox;

Get the Earplugs READY;


The Pez Report

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Sunday, June 07, 2009

I Had A Feeling That THAT Trade Would Bite Someone In The Arse

If anyone remembers David Murphy, raise your hands:

It was Saturday, September 2nd, '06, when the Red Sox faced the Blue Jays at Fenway Park. I saw David Murphy, fresh up from Pawtucket, get his 1st Major League Hit. It was a single off A J Burnett;

Then, on July 31st, '07, Murphy was sent to Texas in exchange for that Slab of Canadian Bacon, Eric Gagne'(Gagne', Often called Gag-Me by Fenway Denizens, is now with Quebec City in the Can-Am League, as Pitching Coach, as I speak, perhaps awaiting a Phone Call, from Omar Minaya);

Minaya would be strung from a Citi Field Light Tower, if he ever made that phone call. So would the same thing happen to Jeffy;

Reality Bites, as Murphy had 3 Hits off Daisuke Matsuzaka, including a Double, driving in 2 Runs, as Texas defeated the Red Sox, in front of 37, 787 Spectators at The Fens. Dice-K K'd 8, but allowed 5 Runs on 10 Hits in 5 2/3 Innings. Final was 6-3 Texas Rangers. Michael Young homered off Dice-K. Vicente Padilla got the Win;

& Eric Gagne' still SUCKS;

The Pez Report



Omaha Beach In France was a bloody battlefield in Northern France, as the Allies sought to free Europe from the Terror of The Nazis:

June 6th, 1944;

Europe was freed;

God Save The Queen;

God Bless America;



More Junk From Los Mets De Nueva York

Game ended. Mets lost.
*Try Personalization!

& Omar Minaya + JEFFY are looking to get an ankle hang from a $iti Field Light Tower. They Deserve It.


Another Bonus

The Olde Towne Team is in 1st Place;

The Pez Report


For 6 1/3-All Was Perfect At The Fens, Last Evening

Until Michael Young of the TX Rangers, clocked a Single, Jon Lester was Perfect. No Ranger got to 1st, in front of the Ubiqtuous Sellout Crowd at Fenway Park. Jon flirted with Immortality until the 7th Inning:

Papi Homered, hitting Pesky's Pole. It was his 2nd Homer this Season. The Days of the Magnificent Shot, though, I believe is over;

8-1 was the final, as Jon's Pitch count was down, making a bit over 100 pitches by the 9th Inning. It was the rare complete game. The 'Pen had the evening off;

The Pez Report


Friday, June 05, 2009

WFAN Alert: Mets RP J.J. Putz will undergo surgery Tuesday. Putz will be unable to throw for six weeks and likely will be out 8 to 10 weeks, the source said.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Game ended. Yankees lost.
*Lohan told to gain weight

Monday, June 01, 2009

The Paraclete And Pentecost

In the words of the Redoubtable Fr Joseph F Wilson, Associate Pastor Of St Margaret's RC Church in Middle Village, Queens, I heard the Term, Paraclete, in connection to The Holy Spirit, for the 1st Time in Many Years:

The Holy Spirit, as Promised by Jesus Christ, would descend upon the Apostles, so they would go forth into the World and make Disciples Of All Nations;

Think of Paraclete, not as a mean, green little bird(Parakeet), but as a Coach in a Baseball Game. The Batter hits one off the Pitcher, and he's being encouraged by that Coach, to give one's all;

That's where The Holy Spirit comes into play. Pentecost is the Birthday Of The Church, when the Apostles went forth from the Upper Room;

Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia;

Deo Gratias, Alleluia;

The Pez Report

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