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Thursday, November 30, 2006

"It's That Time of Year Again, as It's Manny Time"

This story has a life of its' own. It's when Manuel Aristedes Ramirez, who grew up(Grew Up?)on the Manhattan Side of the George Washington Bridge, is looking to be traded(What TF Else is New):

The Dodgers, Giants, Angels & White Sox, are rumored to be going after him;

The guy has power. I think that he thinks of himself as in need of attention;

Who knows? He might request to be traded to Kansas City, to be closer to his Wife's Home in Brazil(Thanks to Call of The Green Monster, for that October '05 bit of "News");

I think that he'll stay in Boston & give the writers a lot to write about.

"Hey Tony? Are You Kidding Or What?"

Mc Gwire didn't use steroids? Bwahahahahaha! You've managed the biggest bunch of Juice Freaks on the planet:

Jason & Jeremy Giambi:

Jose' Canseco;

Mark Mc Gwire;

Just Who TF are you kidding?

Ahhh, La Russa, but you're my Least-Favorite Lounge Lizard Look Alike.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A New "Vista" On The Horizon-Crrrrrrraaaaaasssshhhh!

No, this "Vista" is not meant to broaden your horizons. Rather it a "Vista" to whet your insatiable appetite for Cutting Edge Technology. Needless to say, Microsoft is telling you that you'll experience computing like never before:

That & a Mass Bay Transportation Authority "Charlie" Card will get you on the J Train at Marcy Avenue in Brooklyn. One would be taken over to the 90 Precinct on Union Avenue, where you'll be treated as an EDP & taken to Bellevue, where you'll be under guard & sedated for thinking that $1.25 will get you on a NYC Subway Line;

My idea of Microsoft's Cutting Edge Technology would be you, working for hours, to get your brand new computer(PC)up & running without the need for rather strong Adult Beverages, but this is not usually the case, as one would need Jolt Cola to stay awake during this process;

You start up your PC & call Microsoft with the Activation Key # & you're on your way, to hours of downloads of Security Updates & Patches. It is during this process where Microsoft wants to know the name of your 1st born child, etc+your bank or credit card # to be stored on their servers, so they can bill you for their mistakes & make little fixes which fix one thing & cause other things to malfunction. Is that usually the case with Windows?

The 1st Crash should be about 10 minutes after you turn the thing on. The 1st Virus, despite all of the precautions should be 4 minutes after you go online;

Microsoft likens themselves to the NY Yankees. It means they're big. They're also Crash-Prone. Need I remind you of Games 4-7 of the '04 ALCS & what happened there? Ditto, '05 LDS; Ditto , '06 LDS?

I believe that you all know what I think of The Yankees. To think that despite the '61 Yankees, that Freedomland USA, on the site of Co-Op City in the NE Bronx, outdrew the Yankees;

Let's Go Red Sox;

Let's Go Mets;

Microsoft & the Yankees Both SUCK!

Friday, November 24, 2006

"The Craziest Red Sox Fans In The World"

They're located in a City, which supports 2 MLB Teams & 2 MiLB Teams:

There, in that city, are a # of Red Sox Friendly Bars, more-packed than regular bars;

Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, took place there;

The 2004 Collapse of a certain "Dynasty", took place there;

Our Left Fielder, Always "Being" Himself, grew up there;

The Subways & Bus Systems run 24/7;

One Subway Line to is sounding like B & C Green Line To Kenmore on Game Days;

In what other City could you have a Downtown-Midtown-East Side-West Side Red Sox Bar War;

Like London, it has 2 Catholic Dioceses, in its' bounds;

It's a place with 5 Boroughs. Are you getting Warmer;

New York City is that place. More actual Red Sox Fans actually travel WITHIN the 5 Boroughs to MLB Games than do Yankees Fans, who're "Suburban Arrivistas", anyway;

Shea Stadium, home to the '86 Game 6, is the Home In Exile of RSN-NY, a place where Mets Fans chant "Yankees SUCK", just like in Fenway Park. Mets Fans of The Old Guard Variety, often seek Fenway Tickets, for a Once A Year Trip, to the Home of The Yankees Arch-Rival;

RSN-NY has its' Allies in NYC. You'd never know it by the Papers here, but they do nice writeups about the RSN Bars here;

BTW, much of RSN-NY comes from Brooklyn Dodgers Stock & the NY Mets Old Guard & NY Giants Stock. Those telling me to root for the Yankees in honor of the '86 Mets, need to be hung from either the Green Monster, or from a Ramp from the Upper Level of Shea Stadium;

Where else but in NYC can you be this Intensely-Individual;

I wouldn't have it any other way!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Things I'm Grateful For This Past Year

Working for The City Of New York in the Information Disseminating End of it, instead of being on the street:

The Crew from 2 Red Sox Nation Pubs in Manhattan;

Making my 4th trip to Fenway Park, & 1st since 2000, in September;

Despite having almost half of the postseason roster on the DL, The NL NY Mets in the LCS;

The Yankees cannot make that claim, as they died off in the LDS, which is getting to be standard procedure;

My Macintosh computer in 10.3.9(OS X-Panther), which purrs like a kitten;

The Knights of Columbus & Ancient Order Of Hibernians;

Blogger Beta;


There, you got it!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

"Enjoy Thanksgiving Weekend"


Tuesday, November 21, 2006

AL MVP Isn't A Pepsi Or Cologne Salesman

I'm now inclined to believe that SOME Sanity has returned to the MVP Voting:

Tim Mc Carver must SURELY be disappointed that his petition for Derek Jeter's Sainthood, missed, though not by much;

SURELY(& Don't call me Shirley);

Justin Morneau of the MINNESOTA Twins, won it & Congratulations to him;

Will the sponsors come a callin'?

Microsoft wants to Sell Me An Office Suite Which I ALREADY Have For Free

It's strange, but operating with Neo Office, a fork of Open Office, I can already write in formats, which Microsoft wants to charge me up to $499 to do, but which I do for free:

Whose Blue Lip Gloss does it support, Mr Ballmer? It's like going to Yankee Stadium to pay $9.75 for a Heineken, which I refer to as the "Slappy Mc Bluelips" Tax. I can either stay home & buy a 6 Pack of great beer, or watch said Baseball Game at Shea Stadium or Fenway Park & not get soaked like that;

MS Office is like "Manny Being Manny", as it sometimes quits when it feels like it;

Oh, & Manny? Don't YOU DARE go anywhere.

Monday, November 20, 2006

"Plans Are Underway for a New Blog"

It will be an online Spy Thriller-Comedy, in short a "Thromedy", called "The Brandenburg XX File", set in Queens, Brooklyn & East/West Berlin, in the Cold War, in 1986-87:

Part of it will be set around Game 6 of The 1986 World Series, as well as Game 7;

Murder, mayhem & Comedy all abound in it;

Ross Mac Duncan will be writing it;

It'll be as funny as a Linda Rostadt-Type Fastball, as it "Blue Bayou";

After reading it, you'll wonder about its' Peggy Lee Type Fastball Comedy & ask if "Is this all there is";

"Ladies & Gentleman, fasten your seatbelts, we're in the 9th Inning", & have a good time with it.

Friday, November 17, 2006

"Well, Tim"(Sometime in '09)

"Welcome Back, Tim, to our 15th Season of FOX Saturday Baseball";
Mc Carver; "Well, Thank You";
"Well, as we come from the new Citi Field, as Shea Stadium is being turned into a parking lot, do you have any thoughts about the new Ebbets' Field Style Park, on Management & ownership of the NY Mets & this park?"
Mc Carver;
"Well, I will say this about Mets Principal Owner Fred Flintstone, in that he got his Fenway Park-Style Stadium, with The T Running by it, but having me replaced in the TV booth with Jerry Remy, was really a low blow, & sending Mets General Manager Steve Costanza, that low rent fool who now simulates General Manager Press Conferences on EWTN, to do the job, shows that this organization still has no class. By not naming the place for Pumpsie Green, whose portrait adorns the Rotunda, it's further evidence of an Anti-Semetic Conspiracy, with Mel Gipstein";
"Get some oxygen Tim, you're out of breath";

Fr Mitch Pacwa S.J., head of EWTN, released this statement that "It's apparent that Tim's Intellectual Capacity is hindered by that Industrial Strength Red Dye#2 he uses to color his hair. The Fumes alone are hindering his thought processes. Why Last week, he kept talking about NY Yankees Shortstop & Cy Young Award Winner Cedric 'The Entertainer' Jeter'";

Pumpsie Green, who was reached for comment, had none, but did burst into laughter;

Steve Phillips of ESPN, who used to be Mets General Manager, said that Mc Carver confuses "Seinfeld" with reality;

Mets Principal Owner, Fred Wilpon, in an interview with "Call Of The 7 Line", stated that Mc Carver had to go when he kept insisting that the team aggressively pursue the playing services of Alex Rodriguez. Said Mr Wilpon "I don't need some blue lip gloss wearing, ball slapping little primadonna on this team, nor do I need some guy in the TV booth, whose brain is being damaged with hair dye so strong that it could kill someone from 300 feet away."

The Trustees of The Jackie Robinson Museum & Learning Center, announced a Special Alliance with the "Shut Up Tim Mc Carver" Website & will push it as much as possible.

Mel Gibson, laughing way too hard, while referring to Rupert Murdoch as "The Ultimate Zionist, who wants to own & rule the whole World", told "Random Fandom Red Sox NYC" that @ least he roots for The Angels.

The LA Angels of Anaheim, declined comment, in regards to anything said by Mel Gibson.




Monday, November 13, 2006

"The New Yankee Stadium-For Sale On The INSIDE"

One thing the NY Yankees would NEVER do, is sell the outright naming rights to the New Yankee Stadium. That would NOT be TRADITION. It would NOT be dignified:

Instead, under the cover of TRADITION on the OUTSIDE, the Yankees will sell naming rights to ENTIRE Sections of that ball park, to garner all that revenue;

"The Toilet"that George Built, will sell naming rights to sections. Let's see what sections get which sponsors:

Tier-The Continental Airlines SkyTier, if you like heights & food like on an airliner, then this is fine(URP);

Bleachers-The Elger Fixtures Bleachers, for all those Foul-Mouthed Bleacher Creatures, who STILL will not be able to buy a beer;

The Batters' Eye Suites by Cohen's Fashion Opticals-Like sitting in the bleachers & needing field glasses, only with beer & other amenities, with full abuse from Bleacher Creatures still chanting "Box Seats Suck"; is out as far as the Bleachers are;

Field Championship-IO Digital Cable by Cablevision Field Championship. If you want to know what the price of these seats are, you can't afford to sit here;

Loge-Trump LLC, so The Donald can sit as far away from fans as humanly possible;

Main BOX, Main Reserved by Miller Lite;

Club Level-SONY;

Broadcast Booth-Lowe's(Let's Build Something Together);

Luxury Suites-Hilton Hotels, with All The Amenities, with a visit(Extra Charge) from Paris Hilton;

Dunkin' Donuts Monument Park(Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Pope John Paul II, best coffee);

Trojenz Yankees Clubhouse(Hey, Derek needs all the protection he can get);

Chase Stadium Club;

NYSE Pinstriped Pub;

So you see, it's not outside where you make the money. Inside is your gold mine;

Will Murdoch be so quick to condemn this?
By the time the new "Toilet" is built, he'll own half the YES Network & it'll be called YESFOX;

OMG, Kay & Mc Carver on FOX Saturday Baseball;

How long will it be before there are grown men openly weeping in the streets, while wee children are wailing like banshees with that duo?

It won't be long. '09 is just around the corner. Yikes!

Red Sox: "Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"!


Red Sox won the bid to negotiate with him;

Do I see a World Championship Flag on the horizon?


Hey, Yankees, you can't own everybody.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

"Chills, Fever, Mass & CitiField With Kudos To Jackie Robinson"

It was damp & cool in Queens, these past 2 days, so I caught a brutal chill & went to bed:

I also had a bit of a fever, causing me to feel weak, so it was time for a rest, hence a lot of bed time, but was determined to get to the Holy Sacrifice Of The Mass;

The latest Mass in the area is at Nativity B V M in Ozone Park, as this is something I've known for awhile;

It was nice. For those readers who're Catholic, do you remember when the Tabernacle was at the Center of The Altar & not off to the side?

It was at the CENTER there, hence it was a start of a nice Mass;

It was a Youth Mass, complete with Guitars & Flutes;

There was one Liturgical Problem, when an Extraordinary Minister of the Eucharist, was at The Tabernacle, storing away the Eucharist. Only a priest or deacon may do that in accordance with Church Law;

As I was to learn about the Jehova's Witnesses, they do NOT preach Christ Crucified, hence they are NOT Christians in any way, shape or form;

& now Citi Field:
It's the NY Mets new ball park, on the lines of a modern day Ebbett's Field in Brooklyn, only in Queens, next to the current site of Shea Stadium, in Corona, Queens;

45K Seats & Great Views will be the theme, with an Ebbett's Field Style Rotunda at the entrance;

The NY Post(News Corp, owner of FOX Television), tried everything in its' power, unto the point of implying racism, in the Mets Decision, not to name the ballpark, sponsor-free, in honor of Jackie Robinson;

The Mets are keeping Jackie's Legacy alive;
Their names are Omar Minaya & Willie Randolph;
The Rotunda @ the Entrance to CitiField is in honor of the Man who broke Baseball's Colour line, Jackie Robinson,
with contributions being made to the Jackie Robinson Foundation, hence Fred & Company are keeping in line with the Ebbett's Field Tradition;
Will Billie Jean King & Bill O'Reilly, mind their business?
Thanks, because it takes money to do it;

This is while News Corporation is a marketing partner of the NY Yankees;
Mind your business, Mr Murdoch, as News Corp once owned the LA Dodgers & lost $76M one year on that team. Fred Wilpon should listen to you Brain Surgeons in running a baseball team?

Freddie? I'm proud of you in not giving into "The Kangaroo";
Keep up the good work;


Saturday, November 11, 2006

"In The 11th Hour On The 11th Day Of The 11th Month"

The Year was 1918 & World War One had come to a close. This was the Armistice & cessasion of hostilities in Europe. It was called The Great War. The Doughboys(Army) were coming home to peacetime:

Later, there was WWII, in both Europe & The Pacific, then Korea & then Vietnam & then a lull until The Gulf War & now The Mideast in Iraq & in Afghanistan;

Now there are war veterans of various wars;

Korean Vets are in their 60s' & 70s';

WWII People are in their 80s' & 90s';

Vietnam Vets are in their 50s' & 60s';

Gulf War Vets are in their 30s' & 40s';

& new vets are coming home from Iraq & Afghanistan;

The American Legion, Catholic War Veterans, Jewish War Veterans & Veterans of Foreign Wars, always honor these veterans, who served in uniform;

But, there are always those who served in war & not in uniform;

Those people who worked in putting together the Airplanes for the Army Air Corps, did their jobs, in ensuring that America was strong on defense, working many a round the clock shift;

Many were not accepted for service, but they did their part in the war effort;

One man comes to mind. He was rejected for his bad eyesight, so worked for General Motors, building the bombers, which went off to Europe;

I got from him, my sense of Faith & my dry sense of humor;

Thanks, Dad & all those Guys & Gals In The Defense Industries, for without you, there would've been no Victories In Europe & The Pacific;

Another thing about 1918 is that # is permanently retired from NY Yankees Fans Vocabularies, since 10-27-04, when the Red Sox swept the Cardinals in a World Series;


Friday, November 10, 2006

Red Sox Plant a flag in the Far East

Just read some good news for a change by clicking on the title:

The Carmine Hose may have landed the signing rights to Japan's Star Pitcher in The World Baseball Classic;

He's really good;


PS: Tim will definitely confuse him with some NY Yankee.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

On The Various "Save" Movements

There's still a "Save Fenway Park" movement in Boston, which is quite-active: There's even a "Save Yankee Stadium" movement, but the place is a claustrphobe's nightmare;

I've never been in favor of saving the place, we of Red Sox Nation, affectionately call "The Toilet." Between the Casual Fan Asshats & the usual drunks & the small bathrooms, which in some cases send you to peeing in a janitor's closet, it'll be good to say goodbye to a place where many a fan has experienced their 1st case of Food Poisoning, not to mention, Baseball poisoning from the morons who call themselves Yankees Fans, at least until their 1st Post-Season Free October;

To Red Sox Nation in NY & New England, can you imagine a "Save Shea Stadium" movement? The organizers of that movement would be carted off in straightjackets, in a NY Minute;

However, it does serve as a home in exile for RSN, until more tickets become available for Red Sox Games, because both fan bases have a mutually-nurtured hatred for the NY Yankees. Where else, for $5 to $22, for Upper Level, can you spend an inexpensive evening, chanting "Gay-Rod...Jeter's Lover" & not get beaten up? You can even wave to pilots on incoming flights into LaGuardia Airport, it's so high up. Sometimes, I think that RSN-New England is drawn to the place where Game 6 of the '86 World Series was played, in order to see the place of much-misery in the Nation, perpetrated on Saturday, 10/25/86;

When Shea's replaced by that nouveau-Ebbet's Field Clone, I think that both RSN & Mets Fans should witness the end of the 1st Multipurpose Outdoor Stadium in America & the Last One in operation in MLB, watching it implode. It may bring out gales of laughter, followed by a toast to the memories, both good & bad, with perhaps a tear shed. It will have as many MLB Years of CONTINUOUS Service, as Ebbet's Field had with the Brooklyn Dodgers;

Shea has to go, but the memories will be etched, for years to come.

Monday, November 06, 2006

"Don't Complain Folks-Just Vote"

It's YOUR Government, so vote:

"It's Your Duty, Judy!"


Sunday, November 05, 2006

"You Have The Right To Just STFU & All That Jazz"

It was Late Spring, 1995(June 10th, I believe);

That Ill-Fated Joke called "The Baseball Network", a joint ABC-NBC-CTV Venture was on the air;

Joe Buck was just a FOX Sports Football Commentator;

Tim Mc Carver was NOT annoying & was on ABC & Mets TV & didn't use his industrial-strength red hair dye #2;

John Sterling was & still is a braying jackass(Well, Obviously);

Ditto, Michael Kay, who had yet to mention "No Hitter" & "Holocost" in the same sentence;

The Mets were on Superstation WWOR, while The Red Sox were on Superstation WSBK;

DFYankees were on Superstation WPIX, while the Atlanta Braves were on Superstation WTBS;

& I was working a Task Force, looking to take out counterfeit handbag vendors;

So on West 57th Street, between 6th & 7th Avenues, in Patrol Borough Manhattan South(Cue The "Kojak" Theme-Bwahahahaha), in the confines of Midtown North Precinct, I was lookin' for (Alledged) Perps;

Bo Dietl was nowhere in sight;

Plenty of Tourists were by "Planet Hollywood". They were soon to be treated to some real life action & not the Hollywood kind @ 140 West 57th Street;

The vendors, all from Senegal, formerly French West Africa, were not too happy to see the Counterfeit Goods TF, swooping around them, for as their goods were being taken from them. The tourists who watched, most of them from South Cupcake, NJ, thought that this was a friggin' movie. Remy Julien, a famous stuntman, was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Jerry Remy, a renowned Baseball commentator, anywhere near West 57th Street;

Some Afo-American Dudes were looking to stir up trouble, demanding to know why we were messin' with "Da Bros". The confiscations were now becoming violent. One of these a-holes from Senegal started to become somewhat violent while struggling to hold onto his goods. I got on a PD Issued Radio, reporting riotous conditions @ 140 West 57th Street, 6th to 7th on The Cross;

"CA To Central,K";
"Central K";
"'85 Forthwith, 140 West 57th Street, 6th to 7th on The Cross,K";
"10-4, an RMP is on the way";
"!0-4, Central, Thanks";

Just then, I heard a strange radio transmission of a signal 10-13(In Real NYPD Parlance, it means that the s--- just hit the fan & I don't mean WFAN, either);

All the bells & whistles, which one would hear on "FOX Saturday Baseball", whenever a run is scored, minus the "Whoosh", were heard on NYPD Citywide 1 & 2 Radio. It went like this;

"Da, da, da,da,da,da,da, In the confines of Midtown North Precinct, Signal 10-13, front of 140 West 57 Street, 6th to 7th on the cross, Signal 13 over Citywide from Dept of CA; Da,da,da,da,da,da,da";

I had no idea that I was the one who called that 10-13. All that I called for was 10-85(Meet with Supervisor), but that '85 Forthwith(Fortwit in Dietl-ese), meant 10-13 or "Call Out The Cavalry";

NYPD Transit Bureau District 4 arrived 1st, followed by Midtown North, Midtown South, Manhattan South Task Force, you name it, they came, faster than a crash of Microsoft Word on my iMac;

I was on sheer adreneline & scared S---less. A Lady Sergeant calmed me down. I apologized for not knowing what '85 Forthwith meant, but I had my prisoner, who was looking to become West 57th Street Roadkill, by running into the roadway to escape;

I gave my command to my perp in French, which went like this;

"Mettez Votre Mains La. Bouge pas toi ou Je vais te decendre";

Now the Brooklyn English Translation goes like this;

"Put your hands up on da car where I can see 'em. Don't move or I'll knock ya on your tuchas, capisce";

I then proceeded to cuff the perp & recited Miranda(Not Carmen Mirands)Warning, in French, which quite simply means "You got the right to STFU & all dat Jazz, capisce";

Went to Midtown North Stationhouse & processed the collar. I was later told by NYPD that I was the 1st to encounter the More-Violent Senegalese Vendors, who will fight for their goods. BTW, my perp was found to have a razor blade in his hair;

Just anutha tale of NYC from Random Fandom Red Sox NYC, with emphasis on my day job, in NYC!

I hope that you enjoyed reading this, because, even with the humor, it's a true story;



Friday, November 03, 2006

"Arnie Usetah ride the BMT"(An All Souls Day Story)

The Initials BMT signified the Brooklyn Manhattan Transit Company, which operated Elevated & Subway Lines, as well as Light Rail & Bus Lines:

They operated Subway & El Lines in Brooklyn & Queens, & Subway Lines in Manhattan. The Light Rail & Bus Lines were in Brooklyn & Queens;

A kid named Arnie Auerbach used to ride these lines as a kid in the East Village, Manhattan & Williamsburgh, Brooklyn;

I was riding on the old BMT Nassau Loop Express along Broadway-Brooklyn, yesterday & passed the building where the old Eastern District HS, where Arnie played his High School Basketball. The building is now a Hasaidic Yeshiva;

Last evening, on my way up to a certain Red Sox Nation Pub, called "The Hairy Monk", I passed the PS 122 Building, @ East 9th Street & 1st Avenue, in the Wilds of The East Village by Cooper Union. The edifice is now used for theatrical purposes, but still has the facade of a NYC Public School. Arnie shot his 1st Hoops there, on the roof;

At "The Hairy Monk", I learned that Mr Ivan Spence, the Evening Manager, will be running the NYC Marathon this Sunday, to which I ate my dinner & wished him "Slainte" for good luck, on Sunday;

I headed downtown to "Professor Thom's" at East 14th Street & 2nd Avenue & had a couple of "Thom's Ales" & read the Boston Globe. I read about a big memorial ceremony at TD Banknorth Garden, @ the site of Arnie's Triumphs, which was actually the old Boston Garden at North Station. Arnie, you see, is Arnold "Red" Auerbach;

I became very teary-eyed, reading about the tribute. 16 Green Roses, each signifying the 16 Boston Celtics World Championships, & a Box of his favorite Victory Cigars, were placed in the seat which he occupied, for so many years;

The Auerbach System of Defensive Strategies, has been employed by every NBA Championship-Winning Team. They are his Legacy;

Red was 89, when he died this past Saturday. In an interview with the NY Times, from 3 Years ago, Red gave the readers a big hint as to where he really came from;
"I was All Brooklyn 2nd Team. Brooklyn had more teams & bettah Teams than in all of Indiana";

& The Borough of Brooklyn had a great son;

Requiem In Pacem, Red;


Thursday, November 02, 2006

Another Really Brilliant Rocket Scientist Gets Caught

Click on the Title to read about Guillermo Mota:

Something to do with "Juice";

& NOT Orange Juice Either;

Unlike a # of players, Mota owned up to it. He didn't blame another player for his act of illegality;

Unlike a certain DH-1st Baseman, who cried & apologized to the fans of a team in The Bronx, for reasons which he couldn't mention, Mota came out & said to the effect "I F----- Up";

OK, wipe the slate clean & start again;

Good Luck, S'r Mota!