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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

My Opinion In Art of the NY Yankees

Like "The Riviera Cafe'", I have no high opinion of them:

In the words of Jim Mc G;

"F--- The Yankees & The Riviera Cafe'"!

"What The RC Diocese of Brooklyn & Major League Baseball Both Have In Common"

1st, my gripe is with the Brooklyn Diocese, especially their website:

If one wants to know about where the Traditional Latin Mass is celebrated in Brooklyn & Queens, one will have to jump through hoops or 225 PAGES of Links in order to get a little information, but NOTHING leads there, directly;

After reading some story by one Carol Powell of "The Tablet"(Not the One In London, but just as Heterodox as the one in London), about how The Current Novus Ordo Mass is such a great celebration & making the Church so alive & vibrant(Where, I don't know, as the Church is going through a Nasty Winter, after Vatican II), I continued onward through the links until I felt like screaming. Even Google would have trouble combing through their website;

Why are you guys in Brooklyn, trying to hide where the Traditional Latin Mass is celebrated? It's like hiding a lantern under a basket, to prevent illumination. Who handles your information dissemination, Major League Baseball? FOX Sports?

OK, MLB, you're next on my "Hit Parade";

Bud, why is MLB being made available to fewer people? If I want to watch my NESN Favorites, DO & The RemDawg, I have to get the MLB Extra Innings Package, ONLY through Direc TV, run by that Monopolistic Capitalist, Mr Murdoch, whose FOX Sports could drive people to drink heavily, every time Tim drools over Derek Jeter? Can you imagine my bar tab? & that's just from putting up with Michael Kay on YES;

Sunday Night Baseball on TBS? Our Saturdays ruined by FOX @ 3:55PM Eastern? World Series Games at 8:24PM Eastern? Children cannot stay up until the wee hours watching the Fall Classic & now all our Games are being distributed through a Murdoch Controlled Satellite Company? Have we no choice. Fans can't stay home & watch on cable?

To both The Brooklyn Diocese & Major League Baseball;
Why are you BOTH going for LOWER #s;



Requiscant In Pacem, Monsignor Vavarro;
You're One Of The Great Ones

This is just in from Google;

On the 2nd & 4th Sundays at 9:00AM, at the Chapel at St John's Cemetery, in Middle Village, Queens, a Traditional Latin Mass is now offered in Queens. The Chapel is near the Main Entrance just off Metropolitan Avenue & 80th Street, while the Brooklyn Mass is at Our Lady of Peace Parish on Carroll Street, in Park Slope, Brooklyn, at 12:30PM. This information, via Google, is from the Brooklyn Diocese own website;

Whew! I need more patience;


Sunday, January 28, 2007

Top 10 Signs You're at a Bad K of C Free Throw Contest From The Home Office In Forest Hills, NY

#10: It's being held at the local Yeshiva on Friday Night at Sundown;
#9: Contest Start Time conflicts with "24";
#8: Contest is in Forest Hills Queens, with Pre-Game from Studio A at The FOX Television Center In Hollywood;
#7: Pastor bans the presence of the Contest Chairman, but lets the Disrupters turn contest into freak show;
#6: The Sheer Presence of Joe Buck & Tim Mc Carver, causing people to yell "Please, Stop";
#5: Contestant who can't reach the basket, is told to "Step Away From The Foul Line & to Give Up The Ball" by Simon Colvel;
#4: Paula Abdul is using "Oral Massage Techniques" to Influence Scorers, which were perfected on "American Idol";
#3: Pastor, who barred Chairman from Facility, finds he's subject of a blog, denouncing him in 6 Parishes by the band of Disrupters;
#2: The Orderly 45 Minute Contest, turned into 3 1/2 Hour Ruckus by the Disrupters, who call themselves "Reformers";
#1: Buck announcing that the FOX Deal for the Contest is running until 2013, puts arm around Tim's shoulder & boldly proclaims "Your Stuck With Us".

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

"Why I'm Pro-Life" Part I

On Monday, on "A Red Sox Fan In Pinstripe Territory", Jere wrote his reasons for being "Pro Choice", which he feels is the right thing to do by his conscience. Well, I'm here to present my views, to be fair:

Think about this...What if your life as the 3rd party of a Union were to hang in the balance;

In the More Civil & Sacramental Days, there was a thing called Matrimony, & that's when Intelligent Adults were committed to each other in order to start a family. It was a time for Men to be Real Men & Women to be Real Women;

Then came the 1960s', a time of experimentation & the coming of Sex Education, not by Pious Parents, but by The State through the schools. Whereas the parents, who have primary responsibilities & could teach morals in this process, the Sex Educationalists would give all the mechanics without the moral duties involved. More-Often, these Educationalists believed in Secular Humanism & wished to spread that Gospel, morality-free;

Pretty soon, young teens were having sex more-freely, with little regard for the consequences. It was kids having kids(End of Part I).

Monday, January 22, 2007

It Looks Like A Film Noir Mac Ad

I made it a bit gray, to reflect the mood in Patriots Nation, since it's white at the bottom, just remember that the night is darkest before the dawn's early light:

Be Not Afraid!


Just playing with Abstract Art on the Seashore Image Manipulator for 1st time:

Amazing just how much is free on Mac OS X!

Sunday, January 21, 2007

"Final Score in The AFC Championship Game is Brooklyn 38- Boston 34

OK, it's Indianapolis 38 & New England 34, but Peyton Manning as at least overcome the "Coise" of Ebbets Field & must overcome the Curse of Memorial Stadium(Baltimore) which is SB XLI:

Sorry, Tom; Sorry Bill, but no one on earth is perfect.

"1st Quarter is Boston 7 & BROOKLYN 0"

Ok, so the Pariots don't play at Braves Field or Fenway Park, anymore. So What! They are however playing the Franchise that once existed as The NFL Brooklyn Dodgers of Ebbets Field Fame:

1st, there were the Dayton Triangles, who existed from 1920 until 1929. Then, they became the Brooklyn Dodgers from 1930 to 1945, then the Boston Yanks from 1945-47, then the NY Bulldogs from 1948 to 1949(Polo Grounds), then the NY Yankees from 1950 to 1951(They Played at a place that Red Sox Nation calls "The Toilet"). In 1952, they were the Dallas Texans, then moved to Baltimore in 1953, where they were the Baltimore Colts until the end of the '83 Season;

From 1984 until now, the Colts can't get it done in the RCA Dome, in big games. They must be like the Brooklyn Dodgers in a sense, since they couldn't get it done either;

Maybe, a new name for the Indianapolis Colts should be "Dem Bums", 'cause that's what you get for deserting Brooklyn & Baltimore.

Upon Return To My Parish After The Traditional Latin Mass

Last Sunday, for the 1st time in 42 years, when I attended the Traditional Latin Mass, I noticed that there was grand reverence, participation is the sung phrases of Worship, an Invitation to Silence & Contemplation during the Offertory & Consecration, & kneeling In Reverence in receiving Christ's Body+One Canon or Eucharistic Prayer. I felt Spiritually-Fulfilled, for the 1st Time in a long time:

So, I went back to Mass(Novus Ordo) at St. Thomas Apostle-Woodhaven, Queens, NY, here in the outer 4 Boroughs of NYC, in the Diocese of Brooklyn. I was Ushering at the 11:00AM Mass(Yes, I'm a Member of The Hospitality Ministry, who guides one to a seat & shoves a Collection basket under one's nose & hands out Parish Bullitens after Mass);

I'm going to admit this after all these years of the Novus Ordo Mass, with Altar turned around to face the people, that despite having rarely if ever missing Mass, it felt at times as if it was so-unfulfilling. Something was missing;

I once heard a learned Man, a Teacher who is a Past Grand Knight of Msgr Sherman Council-Knights of Columbus #5103 in East Glendale, mention about the lack of The Tabernacle at the Center of The Altar, it being the place where the Hosts changed into The Body Of Christ, were kept & revered as His Body. The Tabernacle in some churches, is kept to the right or left side of the Altar, & in some cases, in a Eucharistic Adoration Room behind the Altar, where a reconciliation room(For The Sacrament Of Penance) is located. According to this gentleman, the lack of Reverence for the Church, is due to this, as well as a lack of true instruction in the tenets of the Faith, are systemic. With the Elimination of The Sacred Language of Latin & the Singing of Insipid Songs, as well as the Priest Facing The People, as if he was only a Group Leader, it led to a loss of the Sense Of Sacredness, as well as causing the Faithful not to participation in this Liturgy. Some saw this as Very-Protestant, & that same Past Grand Knight, on the Official Business of promoting the Council Blood Bank, was at a Lutheran Liturgy, which looked & felt like a Novus Ordo Mass, with only the Our Father, being prayed before the Consecration & not after the Consecration, as we Catholics & the Anglicans do. He mentioned that at his local Parish, that there's a Backyard, on Parish Property, which is the perfect place for teens to "Get It On" & get to know each other in the Biblical Sense of Eve "Knowing" Adam, complete with Condoms found in the yard;

In the Traditional Mass, which was the way I remembered it, there was only the Collect, Epistle, Gradual & Gospel. In the Novus Ordo, ala Anglican & Lutheran Liturgies, it's the Collect, Old Testament Reading, Psalm, Epistle(New Testament), Alleluia & Gospel. What I also remember is the Reading of Announcements before the Homily, which was the case at the TLM. Announcements are now made at the end of the Mass, before the Final Blessing, as they are in Anglican & Lutheran Liturgies;

In The Offertory of TLM, the Host(Latin Hostia or Victim) & The Wine are Offered by The Priest, as he is an Alter Christus, making an Offering to The Father. The Host represents The Unspotted Lamb in this Offering. Abel, son of Adam & Eve, sacrificed a Perfect Lamb to God, whereas Cain, his brother, only offered his earthen fruits to God, which was not pleasing to God;

But, in the Current Prayers of The Offertory in Novus Ordo In Vernacular-Western, the Host & Wine are offered as if they're Cain's Gifts from The People To God. It's as if The Priest & People are no different from each other, with only the priest wearing his vestments. Laymen & Women take the Gifts of Bread & Wine to the Priest;

What is really the case here is that there's little differentiation between Priest & People, as Luther believed that Priests(Sacred Ministers) are only representatives of the People & not an "Alter Christus", offering a Sacrifice;

Instead of Orienting toward God In Sacrifice, it's as if the Orienting is toward the people in the pews & not the People being led to The Lord In Homage & Worship The ONLY thing keeping the Novus Ordo from being a Protestant Service, is our belief in Transubstantiation, that is the Change of The Bread & Wine into Christ's Body & Blood, but, even that Doctrine, is NOT emphasized in current religion texts, which often follow the errors of the Notorious Dutch Catechism of 1966, which doesn't really teach Church Dogma;

The Beauty of the TLM, is in the Moments of Silence as the Priest is Offering the Gifts of The Host & Chalice Of Wine, representing Christ's Body & Blood, as a Sacrifice in the Offertory, & in the Consecration, when The Victim & His Blood are changed from Bread & Wine into the Body & Blood of Christ, under the Appearance of Bread & Wine. The Gregorian Chant does Homage to this Sacrifice;

The Traditional Latin Mass(TLM)brings about this Awe. It really isn't possible with the current "Lutheranized-Anglicanized" Mass of ours. It has been said that too much talking brings about distraction. I shall give an example in Layman's Terms, in regards to my favorite Sport, Baseball;

Over 20 Years ago, it was Game 6 of the 1986 World Series. When the NY Mets defeated the Boston Red Sox, 6-5, NBC Sports let the final pictures speak for themselves, without need for wordy commentary from a Lead Baseball Analyst;

Several Years Later, on FOX, there had to be verbose analysis of just what everybody saw, from somebody called "The Master Of The Obvious Observation", who commented that when someone homered in Game 4 of the '04 World Series, he grated nerves by stating that "One Thing About Ground Balls, they don't go out of the Ball Park"(Yes Tim, I had to get that in here, as this is usually a Baseball Blog);

So, I have decided that on the basis with the tranquility of the TLM, as compared with the Novus Ordo Mass(NOM), I will make the TLM a part of my regular schedule(1 Sunday Per Month), as it takes Silence for God To Speak to me, allowing me to contemplate His Plan for Me. Sheer Verbiage doesn't cut it for me;

Pax Vobiscum;


Thursday, January 18, 2007

"Attention Red Sox Nation-NY Metropolitan Area & New England-St Patrick's Day Special Alert"

On Saturday, March 17th, 2007, from East & West 44th Street along 5th Avenue to East 87th Street, is the Wearing O' The Green, namely the NYC St. Patrick's Day Parade, from 11:00AM until 6:00PM:

This Year's Grand Marshall should be familiar to Red Sox Nation, for he was Mayor of Boston at the time of the 1986 World Series. He was also US Ambassador to The Vatican;

Raymond Flynn is the NYC Grand Marshall. Please wear Green, Nothing Obscene, possibly a Celtics Jersey &, MOST-Definitely, your Boston Red Sox Caps. If you have a Green Red Sox Cap, MOST-DEFINITELY wear that;

Let's turn out Red Sox Nation to honour this Important American of Irish Ancestry & Citizen of Red Sox Nation. I will be wearing a Red Sox Cap to Honour Ray Flynn, marching with the Queens County Ancient Order of Hibernians, a Catholic-Irish Fraternal Order;

& if you're Catholic, go to Mass that morning;



Monday, January 15, 2007

January 14th-My Birthday-Was Sung In Latin

I went to the 11:00AM Mass at St.Agnes Church & The Mass was Traditional Latin. It was beautiful. It was as if I was a kid, again in Brooklyn. I had not been at a Traditional Latin Mass since 1965, but had an idea what it was about, so I went to East 43rd Street, Lexington to 3rd Avenues on the cross:

The Original St Agnes Church, burned to the ground. It had Upper & Lower Churches & was where Mum was Baptized. This is the Rebuilt St Agnes Church. The High School of my youth, at 156 East 44th Street, moved operations uptown to W.87th Street & West End Avenue. The Site of The Old High School, is now occupied by a 45 Story Tower;

In Gregorian Chant, The Mass was so reverently-celebrated. It is The Mass Of All The Ages. There were NO Females in The Sanctuary. There is a Traditional Altar Rail. I knelt there to receive Communion on The Tongue;

In The Part of The Mass called The Consecration, The Words "Per Multis", which are Christ's Words In The Last Supper, were used. The Real "Mysterium Fidei" is said by the Priest, to effect Transubstantiation, that is, to change the Bread & Wine Into The Corporeal Real Presence of Christ's Body & Blood. In The Novus Ordo Mass of Today, "The Mystery Of Faith" is said after the Elements are consecrated;

Oh, & another thing is a sore point with the Current Novus Ordo Mass is that "Per Multis" is "For The many", NOT "For All", as "For All"aren't Christ's Words;

With the Novus Ordo, permitting a person to receive Communion in the hand, has many risks, including taking the Sacred Host & using it for Santeria Ceremonies & Black Masses. Where I live in Queens, we have a large Hispanic Population & Ushers must be on the Alert to make the person receiving the Sacrament, to consume The Sacrament after receiving in the hand;

At my next Novus Ordo Mass, on Sunday, I will make my comparisons. From what I gather, I may just prefer the Traditional Rite, over The Novus Ordo;

The People, after Traditional Mass, tend to have good, serious conversations. They were in AWE of this Mass Of The Ages, as I'm in AWE of it;

I then headed downtown to Professor Thom's on 2nd Avenue, for Fun, Celebration & Football. Jim Mc Guire asked me just what I thought of "The Riviera", as is tradition with him, in his packed bar;

I let loose in Latin with what I thought about 'The Riv";

"Pax Non Vobiscum, Riviera";

I think that you know what I chanted In English & it isn't as beautiful as Gregorian Chant, so I did my Best "Brooklynian Chant";

Mind You, Gregorian is Better.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

"FOX Saturday Baseball Presents Round One of The K of C Free Throw-The Contest"

The Theme of FSB is playing. The Logos of FSB & Apple are on left & right top part of screen, respectively. An unusual ocurrence is taking place right now, as some Dude, called S'r Mariano, has taken control of the contest from Ralph The Chairman. S'r Mariano is assisted by Fr Michael Mc Shea. Now it's Buck on the Introduction of he & his colleagues:

JB: "The Knights Of Columbus Free Throw has been in existence, Orderwide since 1976 & for some strange reason, this contest, here in Forest Hills, NY has an incredible amount of controversy, since moving here from East Glendale, some years ago. Somehow, we, at FOX Saturday Baseball, have always found ourselves in the middle of this. Tim Mc Carver, what do you think of all this?"

Tim: "Well, Jack(RemDawg & DO start Giggling), last year when Larry Lucchino was beaten senseless by Contest Producer Ross Mac Duncan, this became one of the most-sensational events in the history of TV since the Red Sox were moved in 2004 to Coney Island, Brooklyn, where they've prospered & have won a World Series, which could be one of the best moves made by Red Sox Principal Owner Fred Wilpon";

RemDawg: "Well, Tim, since we're off on the wrong foot, how do I get to Coney Island-Stillwell on The Green Line. Do I change at Park Street from the Red Line, or at 14th Street-Union Square for The Q Line"(More cackling laughter in the booth);

JB: "Kenny Albert is standing by with NY Mets Owner, Fred Wilpon";

KA: "Thanks, Joe. With me is Fred Wilpon, who really has something to say about our 1st controversy of the evening, Fred?

Fred Wilpon: "I realize that Seaver in the Booth was as exciting as watching ice melt, but the Mets Farm Team plays in Coney Island. They're The Brooklyn Cyclones, NOT the Red Sox. You'd get lost getting off the 7 Line, thinking that you're in The Bronx. I'm The METS Owner, not The Red Sox Owner. & Get rid of that Killer Hair Dye, Please Tim. It's poisoning your brain";

Tim; "Mime, in the rock band, just made some noise";

More cackling laughter was coming from the FOX Booth, as Tim let loose with this gem about S'r Mariano;

Tim; "I can recall S'r Mariano, he of that excellent Gait, when Dave Roberts stole 2nd Base off him in the '04 National League Playoff";

JB; "As always, a Brilliant Point, made by Tim, "The Sophocles Of The Diamond";

Tim; "This just like the Old Days when Red Sox Games were seen on NESN & Superstation WWOR, all over New England, when Bob Montgomery, Ralph Kiner & I, did those Games. To think that a TV Station in Secaucus, NJ had that much power to cover all of New England";

DO; "Like Bob Murphy & Lindsey Nelson doing Mets Games on TV 38";

RemDawg; "Or Yankees Games on WLVI 56";

Meanwhile, S'r Mariano, with his Sidekick, Fr Martin Mc Shea, are in a heated argument with a Parent, over the length of this contest. Fr Mc Shea is the Council Chaplain. Mc Shea went to to the FOX truck outside, to warn Contest Telecast Producers, Ross Mac Duncan & Msgr Angelo Farrecchio, not to come into the facility. Mac Duncan is enraged, screaming "You & Mariano are turning this contest into another Prime Time Debacle, just like Larry Lucchino & Dan Shaughnessy did last year & Mc Carver is more of a Baboon this year, what with WWOR telecasting Red Sox Games in 1986, while Sr Mariano throws Ralph The Contest Chairman out & brings in 3 Parishes in a "Send 'Em All" order to create chaos, just like he did in Arlington, MA, some years ago"(With Mac Duncan speaking in a flowing Boston Accent). S'r Mariano came to the Truck & warned both Producers not to come on the property. Mariano stated that "Things Will Come To Blows if you step into the school for any reason." Ross cracked "Good, & I'll keep my zipper open if it comes to that";

Back inside at the Contest, two 11 Year Old Boys Contestants, Karol Borislavic & Martin St.Louis, are tied at 13/15. A Five Shot shoot-out will take place. One will notice that for every basket, the Run bell from FOX Saturday Baseball, will be sounded;

JB; Karol Borislavic, a Student at Our Lady Of Miraculous Medal School in Ridgewood, Queens is at the Line. He has five shots to break the tie...He's 5/5. Now comes Martin St. Louis from St Elizabeth's School in Ozone Park, Queens. He's at the line...4 out of 4 Shots. Now comes the 5th one. He's Ready, shoots....Ohhhh, & misses, making Karol Borislavic, the winner";

Tim; "St. Louis blows in a New York Minute";

Meanwhile, the slow motion replay of the blown basket is followed by a Spinning MLB On FOX Logo, with corresponding 'Whoosh";

Mac Duncan, with Msgr Farrecchio, in the Truck, have concurred that Mc Carver, indeed, is a Baboon, with his last comment. The Director, Bill Webb, agrees;

DO; "Right now, Fr Mc Shea & Sr Mariano are holding a Press Conference, involving us here at FOX Sports, The NY Times & Radio Staion WQXR-FM & WFAN, in regards to tonight's contest";

Fr Mc Shea; "Upon reports & complaints from the NY State Council at West 23rd Street & 6th Avenue, New York City, I'm taking action to bar Contest Telecast Producers Ross Mac Duncan & Msgr Angelo Farrecchio, from entry into this facility, for reports of their Unbecoming Behavior. That's all I have to say at this moment";

The two people with him were wearing rings with "G" on them. One of them was heard saying that they were on their way to "Breadstix", a bar on Queens Blvd;

Mac Duncan cracked "Those Two must be the 'Queens of Queens'; Why else would they be going to the biggest Gay Bar in Forest Hills";

Msgr Farrecchio; "Both are wearing Masons Rings & hang around a gay bar. I wonder if Fr Mc Shea noticed any of this";

Mac Duncan; "He has to be warned. Let's get him out to the Truck";

Back to the Contest, & Don Orsillo is doing the Play-By-Play of 14 Year Old Andrea Betancourt's shooting session;

DO; "Andrea is the Shooting Sensation of Last Year's Contest & is back for another shot at going all the way. She stands way back from the foul line";

RemDawg; "In other words, she could be standing in Cambridge, & make her shots";

DO; "She could do it from there, no doubt";

Tim; "As we're seeing this, it's nice to have Youppi sitting with us";

RemDawg; "Youppi was Montreal's Mascot. This is Wally The Green Monster";

Tim; "Like Forrest Wahlberg Once said, 'Stupid Is, as Stupid Says'";

JB; "Well, Tim, why don't you tell us about the Toronto Blue Jays TV Schedule on the CW 11-NY";

DO; "Andrea sets & shoots, makes #1, & has the crowd whooping it up(With the FOX Chime played after every made basket). One crowd shot shows Red Sox All Star Left Fielder, Manny Ramirez, holding up a sign promoting the "Shut Up Tim Mc Carver" Website;

Meanwhile, back in the FOX Truck, Fr Mc Shea meets Mac Duncan & Farrecchio to watch the Press Conference Replay & to listen for some strange dialog;

Fr Mc Shea; "Where is this Breadstix Bar? The place has a very-queer name for a bar?"
Mac Duncan; "Well, Padre, it's a Queer Place-Home To Queer Nation";
Msgr Farrecchio; "Notice those rings they are wearing. So strange for Knights of Columbus! West 23rd Street is the NY State Grand Lodge of The Masons";
Fr Mc Shea; "Oh & another thing, Mc Carver is causing me Acid Reflux. I remember the time when Al Leiter was about to choke him on the air, 2 years ago. It may be time for another, melodramatic visit to the broadcast booth";
Msgr Farrecchio; "Ross & I will be at our melodramatic best, when the booth is invaded";

DO; "Andrea is 13/15. Next is Ashley Brockington of Woodhaven. Funny, but she looks a lot older than 14";

JB; "Like 20 is more like it";

Tim; "Like she served me a Scotch On The Rocks, at Game On Cafe', on Landsdowne Street, next to Shea Stadium";

DO, RemDawg & JB, let loose with howling laughter. Buck is laughing so hard, that he runs to the bathroom to puke;

RemDawg; "Let me see, Tim, that means that the Cask & Flagon must be across the street from Yankee Stadium";

Replays of Betancourt, in slo-mo, are followed by another spinning logo & Whoosh;

Tim; "One thing about ground balls, they don't go out of the ball park. Her techniques in how she handles the ball are astonishing, & her accuracy is like that of a Young Derek Jeter. Truly-Amazing!"

JB;"To our Studio for an Update";

Derek Jeter: "Because I'm older now, Tim, am I as bad as Alex Rodriguez? Now back to our contest";

JB; "Ashley Brockington has tied Andrea Betancourt at 13 All, & a 5 Shot Tiebreaker will now be played. Wait, she served me a beer in a Holiday Inn up in Boston. There's another commotion going on here, as Alex Rodriguez has entered the Gymnasium, to truly awful chants. Let's listen in";

Crowd chants "Gay-Rod, Gay-Rod, Jeter's Boyfriend, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, Jeter's Boyfriend, Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap";

JB; "To The Studio & Derek Jeter"(Whoosh);

DJ; "I told that idiot to stay away & he goes & does this. Back to Forest Hills";

JB; "Ashley Brockington has won this round, with some questionable Officiating calls from Sr Mariano";

Tim; "I wonder if Ashley will buy us a round, after this";

DO; "Like over by Shea Stadium at Game-On, Tim?"

RemDawg; "Or at Cask N Flagon in The Bronx?"

The Laughter continues. Ross Mac Duncan is steaming. Replays showed that Brockington was on the line, while Betancourt was away from the Foul Line. Brockington is also S'r Mariano's Neighbor;

Ross Mac Duncan; "Hey, S'r Mariano! Replays show that Betancourt was not on the line while Brockington, a UMass Student, was on the foul line. Explain that, Brain Surgeon";

S'r Mariano; " I hate those arrogant clowns from Forest Hills. I despise Arrogant People. They have no humility";
Msgr Farrecchio; "Then go look in the mirror. You'll hate what you see";
S'r Mariano; "I'm going to call the 75th Precinct on you two";
Ross Mac Duncan; "Your Geography is as bad as Larry Lucchino's. The 112 is a few blocks away";
S'r Mariano slaps Mac Duncan yelling "This is for disrespecting my authority";
Ross Mac Duncan was stunned, then got up and belted S'r Mariano;

JB; "Here we go again. Now here comes A-Rod. He slaps the arm of Ross Mac Duncan";
Tim; "He's doing just what he did to Brandon Arroyo, in Game 6 of the '04 NLCS";
DO; "Bronson, Not Brandon, Tim";
RemDawg; "'04 ALCS, Tim, Game 6 on FOX; You still going to buy us a round at Game On in Corona?"

Msgr Farrecchio, Fr Mc Shea & Ross Mac Duncan arrived in the booth. Mac Duncan was in a foul mood;
"Bronson, NOT Brandon, Tim! Your brand of play-calling makes suspects confess to crimes which they had nothing to do with. The Red Sox play at Fenway Park in BOSTON, not Keyspan Park in Brooklyn. Fred Wilpon owns the NY Mets. John Henry is Principal Owner of the Red Sox. You STILL call Joe Buck, Jack. You drove Derek Jeter & Bill Webb, totally crazy tonight. That industrial strength hair dye is ruining FOX telecasts. WWOR 9 is home of The Boston Red Sox? Ralph Kiner worked Red Sox Telecasts? The Game On Cafe is by Shea Stadium? At this rate, Ashley Solu, Kevin Kennedy, Derek Jeter & I, are really going to rip you 4 New Ones, if you know what I mean";
Fr Mc Shea; "Where is Al Leiter when he's needed & he's needed BADLY?"
Msgr Farrecchio; "We just heard from Cardinals Manager Tony La Russa & he wants an apology for your earlier remark about Martin St Louis";

The laughter is still going on. A planned concert via satellite from Symphony Hall-Boston with the Boston Pops Orchestra, complete with Sing-Along, is scheduled. The Patriotic Song is "Stars & Stripes Forever";

Finally, the last shot is taken & Joe Buck asked everybody in attendance "Is everybody having a good time? We'll, let's join in our Sing Along to 'Stars & Stripes Forever' with the Boston Pops Orchestra"
Kick Lines & such as they are on the Esplanade in Boston, the crowd took to it;

It's awards time & the Presentations were done. Then Joe Buck made this startling announcement;

"It's been announced that FOX Saturday Baseball Presents The Knights Of Columbus Free Throw, has been extended to 2013. Well folks You're Stuck With Us; To the stations along the line, coverage continues after messages & a word from your local FOX Stations & CTV Sportsnet, on "The O T" with Curt, Terry, Howie, Jimmy, Kevin Kennedy, Derek Jeter, Ashley Solu, Don Orsillo, Jerry Remy, Myself, Ross Mac Duncan, Msgr Farrecchio & Tim Mc Carver. You won't want to miss it";

"Now, as the credits roll, listen to the Bach Children's Chorale from Scarborough, Ontario as they sing 'Ode To Joy'";

"FOX Sports, Home to Major League Baseball, NFL Football, Nascar & The BCS. This has been a parody of FOX Sports."

Friday, January 12, 2007

"FOX Saturday Baseball Presents Round One of The K of C Free Throw Championship-Pre-Game"

Music for “Fox Saturday Baseball Pre-Game” is played & Studio is on location, a la NESN Pre-Game, with set up outside of PS101Q in Forest Hills, Queens. The Show is hosted by Last Year’s Guest Soloist Ashley Solu, Kevin Kennedy, & Derek Jeter. Standing by in the 101Q Gymnasium is Joe Buck, who’s waiting to introduce Tim Mc Carver, Jerry Remy, & Don Orsillo. Also along for the ride is “Wally The Green Monster”, complete with deck chair. Let’s now go to the action:

Ashley Solu; “& We welcome you across the United States & Canada to our 3rd Season Coverage of ‘FOX Saturday Baseball Presents The Knights Of Columbus International Free Throw Basketball Championship Round One’ From Forest Hills, NY. With me are ‘FOX Saturday Baseball Pre-Game’ Host Kevin Kennedy & NY Yankees All-Star Shortstop Derek Jeter. Kevin, I’ll begin with you. You’ve assessed at least one of the shooters, 14 Year Old Girls Andrea Betancourt, who won the NY State Finals last year. Could you describe her strategy for this year;

Kevin Kennedy; “She was fabulous with an underhand shot which got everyone at West Point Military Academy, whooping it up. It was some sight to see & she’s been working on it, so I believe that she’s ready for this year’s round. Expect more whoops from the Fans here in Forest Hills”;
Ashley Solu; “Derek Jeter, you’ve competed as a child in Kalamazoo, MI. Were there any tense moments for you in competition, such as this?”

Derek Jeter; “Well, Only when the ‘Soccer Moms From Hell’ were there & in a few moments, Joe Buck will speak the Name of the Man, who will bring terror to the Hearts of all living in the US & Canada”;

KK; “Who Might That be, Derek?”

DJ; “Well, last season during Phillies-Mets, he mentioned my name 17 Times, for what reason, I don’t know, but the dye job has to go”;

AS; “Joe Buck, it’s your time”;

Joe Buck(JB); “Ashley, Kevin & Derek, Thanks & ‘FOX Saturday Baseball Presents Round One of The Knights Of Columbus International Free Throw Basketball Championship’ for the 3rd Straight Season. With me right now are Don Orsillo & Jerry Remy & Don, what do you think will be a key factor, this evening?”

DO; “That The Man From Memphis gets our names right, means that we’re off to a great start for one thing”(DO, RemDawg & Buck start giggling). Jerry?

RemDawg; “I just hope that I’m not confused with that baboon on WFAN in NY, who sounds like he has post-nasal drip, Russo. I’m wondering by what name he’ll call Ol’ Wally, here. At least, Wally will watch with a smile on his face & not say anything really dumb. Like a mime, he’s nice & quiet;

JB; “Public Address Announcer, Robert Sheppard, will now make the announcement of the singing of The Canadian & American National Anthems by The Bach Children’s Chorale of Scarborough, Ontario, who are on a World Tour. Let’s Listen to Mr Sheppard”;

RS; “Ladies & Gentleman, Boys & Girls, Would You Please Rise & join(This Includes the Famous Echo, BTW) with the World Renown Bach Children’s Chorale of Scarborough, Ontario, Canada, in the Singing of The Canadian & American National Anthems in Gregorian Chant”

The Anthems have been sung. JB is about to make one terrifying announcement;

JB; “Ladies & Gentleman, we have just been joined by Tim Mc Carver”;

Tim; “That Heavenly Chorale from NJ, has left me utterly-speechless”;

JB; “Which Is Why Tim, We’re all Rejoicing. The Contest Is Next, presented without Commercial Interruption by Apple”;

Da, da, dot, da, da, da, da, da, dahhh!

"Get That Trophy Back"

It was Soooooooooooooooo Humiliating losing to "Gary's Old Time Pub", I mean, Finnerty's, next door:

I donated the Professor Thom's Challenge Cup, a 52 OZ Cooler for various beverages, for last night's challenge. Unfortunately, it will reside next door in that "Yankees Den of Iniquity";

Win it for Ol' Jerry Thomas, will ya;

This is the end of my rant. Thanks!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

"Kyrie Elaison, Bobby Murcer"

The Brain Tumor is cancerous. It'll be a time of Agony with Chemotherapy, but let's all say a prayer for him. Light a candle:

Pax Vobiscum, Bobby!

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Sweet Lassie Rebel Has Turned 18 As of 1/9

As I spoke with her in August, she who will NOT root for some Team with Derek Jeter on it, Patty, of "1st Altar Server In Title" Fame, is preparing herself for University Studies, as Graduation Day is 5 Months away. Happy 18th Birthday!

Michael-Past Grand Knight

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

The Professor Wins Round III

New England(Bellichik)37-NY Jets(Mangini)16:

Nothing Further, but Just What The Title Says!

Canadian Content Edition of "Top 10 Signs You're At Badly Done Novus Ordo Mass"

#10: Gay “Pere” from Quebec-Member of Parliament, is vested as “A-Rod”, getting him loads of boos:
#9: Opening Hymn In Montreal is “No, na, na, na, na na na na, eh, eh, eh, Good Bye”;
#8: Intentions Including Prayer For The Repose Of The Soul of “Nanook Of The North”:
#7: Lectors are Jean Cretien & Paul Martin, former Canadian Prime Ministers, who’re as “Catholic” as Hilary Clinton;
#6: Rick Mercer gives the Homily:
#5: The Evil One is referred to as “Harper”;
#4: Bells at Consecration, replaced by Flying Logos & Whooshing Sounds from the folks at “FOX Saturday Baseball”;
#3: Only “Gregorian Chant” is from a Rick Mercer Skit, dated 12-5-06 on CBC;
#2: Announcement of new CBC Series, “Little Mosque On The Prairie” is only thing mentioned in announcements;
#1: New Doctrine of Limbo-4 Priests Wiggling under the bar at the Homily.

(Note-To My US Audience-Stephen Harper, who's an Anglican, I believe, is the Pro-Life, Pro Family, Prime Minister of Canada, a Member of Canada's Conservative Party).

Monday, January 08, 2007

"The Music Changes Tonight"

It will be music for contemplation:

Think of a certain "Chant";

It'll have a "Latin" Flavor to it;

Tonight is the Night;


Sunday, January 07, 2007

Could Mr Theo Epstein Be The The Next Mr G. Stephen Phillips-A Discussion

If one can remember the '01 Red Sox Season, where everything began to unravel, especially one Senor Pedro Martinez, who I saw on Saturday, 9/8/01 in "The Toilet In The Bronx", when Mr Dan Duquette, whose firing I repeatedly called for, since 1997, had hired his Beer-Sipping Buddy, Joe Kerrigan, as Manager, causing The Carmine Hose to go into Free Fall, while the NY Mets had signed the Flop, called Trachsel The Unlamentably-Slow-Of-Motion, it's time to look at some possible scenarios, in regards to the Spending & Signing Spree of the '07 Red Sox & a possible correlation with the '02 Mets:

My All-Time Favorite Chant of Derision, came in August, '02, whilst I watched the Mets lose all their Home Games in that month, thus becoming fodder for "The Late Show With David Letterman" & taunts by Good Ol' Dave, himself;

The chant was "Phillips, George Costanza Would Make A Better General Manager Than You";

I was in Field Level at Shea Stadium, when I 1st chanted that & gales of laughter rose from that chant. Please, that team SUCKED;

This mediocrity, boring Shea Denizens to tears, was so bad that on a Hot, Searingly-Humid Sunday, people who were seeking a breeze were shouting to Steve Trachsel, to "Throw The Ball", as it was so-stifling;

Phillips once traded to get the finest reliever in the Game, which turned out to be the dead arm of Mel Rojas, which caused Mets Fans to stand & chant "You Suck" at every opportunity. I can see why Bobby Valentine had no patience with Phillips;

There was no upgrade of the '00 NL Champion Mets, as Phillips, under orders of Mets Then Co-Owner & now Principal Owner, Fred Wilpon, signed a mix of Class B & C Free Agents, but no offense. The Saturday Denizens of Shea Stadium, felt as if they were paying MLB Prices, to watch the Norfolk Tides;

Often, in '01, Mets Fans used to call for shipping some sub-wonder to the new Single A Short Season Team at Coney Island's Keyspan Park. It was a cruel time;

Phillips had a BUSY Off-Season. In '01, Cleveland's All Star 2nd Baseman, Robbie Alomar, was traded for. He had over 100 RBIs in '01. By '02, he was gone in regards to fielding & hitting skills. Chants of "Mallomar, You Suck" filled Shea Stadium. But, the "Coup De Grace" was obtaining a broken-down Mo Vaughn, from the LA Angels Of Anaheim. He could hit a BOOMING Homer, but he was clumsy, old & just off the DL. When he was a healthy Free Agent, the Mets were NOT Interested;

Could Mr Theo Epstein, be headed down this slippery slope?

Pat, a gentleman who I know from "The Incarnations Of Boston 212" & Professor Thom's, & who lives in Briarwood, Queens, actually saw the Brooklyn Dodgers Last Saturday Home Game. I saw him during the Mets last '06 Homestand, with the Mets playing the Washington Nationals(Nee' Montreal Expos), where a chant, directed at Yankees Fans in A-Rod Gear, of "Gay-Rod...Jeter's Boyfriend" was heard with frequency. He initiated those chants;

We had a discussion about the deals the Red Sox had made over this Fall & Winter & posed the Phillips Scenario. Two years after Mets Post Season, they were treading water & collapsed, despite great deals on paper(Though Theory & Practice Complement Each other, each is different). Let's suppose that JD Drew is a Mo Vaughn Style Flop. Let's also suppose that Dice-K is just another Hiddeki Irabu-style flop(Or as I used to call him Irababbabooey-a "Stern" Thing);

Theory always looks great-Practice is another matter;

Play Ball and We''ll See!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

At 71 Degrees Fahrenheit-Why Do I have A Funny Feeling That We May Be Up To Our Pippicks In Snow In A Short Time?

It's NY, it's STILL Winter & ANYTHING can happen. Last February, we got hit by loads of snow, in fact a blizzard, when just a couple of days earlier, it was downright balmy:

This weather can throw one off. Surprises are in store. Mark my words.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

The World's Smallest Book

"Intellectuals Who're Yankees Fans"

A Joke Which I Read On "The Remy Report"

A Yankees Fan called Delta Airlines to ask how long it takes to fly from NYC to San Francisco:

"Just a minute", replied someone at Delta;

Yankees Fan says "Thanks" & hangs up.

The FT On FOX-3rd Season(LOL)

As January is Council Contest Month, for the Knights of Columbus Free Throw Basketball Championship. It is also time for my time-not-so honoured tradition of another rollicking rendition of the Annual "FOX Saturday Baseball" Send-up:

I never knew that the Red Sox were telecast by both NESN & WWOR-Superstation to all of New England, which will be mentioned by "The Sophocles Of The Diamond", & I don't have to tell you who he is, though RemDawg & The D O, will be howling with laughter;

Joe Buck, Ashley Solu, Kevin Kennedy and Derek Jeter, will do Pre-Game & Post Game will be on "The O T", with Joe Buck, Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson, Ross Mac Duncan, Msgr Angelo Farrecchio, Kevin Kennedy, Ashley Solu, Don Orsillo, Jerry Remy, Derek Jeter and Tim Mc Carver. It'll be a howling laugh riot, live from Brooklyn(It Looks like a "Police Squad" Broadcast Booth-Lolololol);

Oh, & when did Keith Hernandez play 1st Base for the Red Sox in '86, Tim?

You'll p-- laughing!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

"The Professor & His Top Student"

One was a Great Teacher, who challenged his students. He had one at the top of his class:

The Student Graduated With Honours. He challenged his teacher to a Chess Tournament;

The Professor won the 1st Match, while the top student won the next match. The Rubber Match will this Sunday, at 1:00PM;

(NFL On CBS-AFC Playoff- NY{J} Jets at N E Patriots-Belichick Vs Mangini-1:00PM on CBS2New York & CBS4Boston. Who'll win this Chess Match is anybody's guess).

"Litany Of The Riviera Cafe' & Sports Bar"(#400 BTW)

In keeping with my time-honoured tradition of mentioning some place, claiming to be the "Home Of Red Sox Nation In NYC", I present to you the Sorrowful Mystery Cafe', called "The Riviera Cafe' & Sports Bar" at West 4th Street & 7th Avenue South, in the Greenwich Village:

You had a GREAT Thing Going. A GREAT Bar Manager named James Mc Guire, formerly from Newark, NJ, who, as he tended bar one day, was asked to switch channels, as your establishment has the MLB Extra Innings, to the Boston Red Sox(Perhaps, NY's 3rd Long Lost Baseball Team)Game on NESN. Thus began an IMMENSE Following;

Gone were the days when only getting Red Sox Games on FOX, ESPN & when the Yankees Played them. This town wailed for, & you listened to the Impassioned Cries of those chantings of "Let's Go Red Sox";

You made us feel at home. "The Carmine Hose" Prevailed over those Horrible NY Yankees. & what did you do? You RIPPED DOWN a Celebratory Banner, congratulating the '04 World Champion Red Sox. & then, you fired your greatest asset, Mc Guire. Your celebration was seen WORLDWIDE on The FOX Feed, hence you received free publicity, so more people flocked from far & wide;

Why was that banner ripped down? Was Derek Jeter coming with his bevy of starlets? Was it because you didn't want to offend A-Rod? Am I making any sense here;

So Starts my Litany;

Sertell The GM;

Normie The Owner;

Kazmercyk, a partner;

Brennan, a partner;


Michael Kay;

John Sterling;



Mc Carver;

FOX Sports;


ALL Of The Above are "Persone Non Grati";

Simply Translated into my native Brooklynese from Latin;

"F--- 'Em All";

We've got more & Better Options with "Professor Thom's", where Mc Guire The Great Is An Owner, at 219 2nd Avenue;

& for Alternative, there's always "The Hairy Monk" at East 25th Street and 3rd Avenue;

Both Places are PROUD Members Of Red Sox Nation;

"F--- The F------ Riviera!"(As I'm Prompted By Jim Mc Guire To Chant);

You clowns are as loved as Juan Damon-ey & the YES Network(NOT);

This is the end of my ranting Litany. I hope that You have all enjoyed it, as much as I have enjoyed Writing it;


Monday, January 01, 2007

Bobby Murcer-Get Well Soon

As My Next Post is #400, this will take me one step closer at 399:

A decent fellow, who actually is easy on the ear, he just had a brain tumor removed;

Unlike Michael "Holocost & No Hitter" Kay, I can easily follow a game on YES;

The news is encouraging as he sat up & watched a recent Bowl Game;

Hope to hear you, really-soon;

Happy New Year;


"& You Wonder Why MS Windows Is An Operating System Which Sucks Like The Yankees"

Well, according to my Correspondant, Dunkler Herrscher in County Wexford, Ireland, editor of the "Hades Haus" Blog on Blogger(Or is he in Ozone Park, County Queens), this just might be a conspiracy(He sent me this illustration as to why Windows SUCKS like The Yankees):

As McGreevey of Boston & NOT NJ, was heard to say, it was clear & concise;

'Nuff 'Ced!"

What McGreevey is REALLY Saying is "Get A Mac!"(My Opinion of Course);

& DH & I are both Past Grand Knights of K of C Councils, as well as rather-devoted Mac Users.

Meanwhile, I Was At "The Hairy Monk" Last Night

It was a nice night. It was also chilly. Rain was a-threatening, for overnight:

I was there for '06's Opener. The Lady, called Linda, was there. We talked, drank, hugged & kissed. Then, there was Natalie, who has known me for coming to this pub, which bills itself as "Home Of Red Sox Nation" & "Member Of Red Sox Nation";

From both ladies, I received tremendous hugs & kisses;

The Pub has served as Post-Game Mourning Spots for when I was up at "The Toilet", when Curt Schilling had nothing in the tank & when Aaron Heilman didn't quite pitch in acceptable fashion(NY Mets);

When Seamus Flynn was one of the owners, he tipped me off about "Professor Thom's";

I'm grateful about "The Hairy Monk", as much as I'm grateful about "Professor Thom's";

Happy New Year, All;


PS: "Lets Go Red Sox"; "Lets Go Mets"; "Thahhhhhhhhhhhh Yankees SUCK";
"Well, Obviously!"(Thanks To John B.Sterling for that last quote & Ispiration for a certain 3rd Mock Call).