"You Have The Right To Just STFU & All That Jazz"

It was Late Spring, 1995(June 10th, I believe);

That Ill-Fated Joke called "The Baseball Network", a joint ABC-NBC-CTV Venture was on the air;

Joe Buck was just a FOX Sports Football Commentator;

Tim Mc Carver was NOT annoying & was on ABC & Mets TV & didn't use his industrial-strength red hair dye #2;

John Sterling was & still is a braying jackass(Well, Obviously);

Ditto, Michael Kay, who had yet to mention "No Hitter" & "Holocost" in the same sentence;

The Mets were on Superstation WWOR, while The Red Sox were on Superstation WSBK;

DFYankees were on Superstation WPIX, while the Atlanta Braves were on Superstation WTBS;

& I was working a Task Force, looking to take out counterfeit handbag vendors;

So on West 57th Street, between 6th & 7th Avenues, in Patrol Borough Manhattan South(Cue The "Kojak" Theme-Bwahahahaha), in the confines of Midtown North Precinct, I was lookin' for (Alledged) Perps;

Bo Dietl was nowhere in sight;

Plenty of Tourists were by "Planet Hollywood". They were soon to be treated to some real life action & not the Hollywood kind @ 140 West 57th Street;

The vendors, all from Senegal, formerly French West Africa, were not too happy to see the Counterfeit Goods TF, swooping around them, for as their goods were being taken from them. The tourists who watched, most of them from South Cupcake, NJ, thought that this was a friggin' movie. Remy Julien, a famous stuntman, was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Jerry Remy, a renowned Baseball commentator, anywhere near West 57th Street;

Some Afo-American Dudes were looking to stir up trouble, demanding to know why we were messin' with "Da Bros". The confiscations were now becoming violent. One of these a-holes from Senegal started to become somewhat violent while struggling to hold onto his goods. I got on a PD Issued Radio, reporting riotous conditions @ 140 West 57th Street, 6th to 7th on The Cross;

"CA To Central,K";
"Central K";
"'85 Forthwith, 140 West 57th Street, 6th to 7th on The Cross,K";
"10-4, an RMP is on the way";
"!0-4, Central, Thanks";

Just then, I heard a strange radio transmission of a signal 10-13(In Real NYPD Parlance, it means that the s--- just hit the fan & I don't mean WFAN, either);

All the bells & whistles, which one would hear on "FOX Saturday Baseball", whenever a run is scored, minus the "Whoosh", were heard on NYPD Citywide 1 & 2 Radio. It went like this;

"Da, da, da,da,da,da,da, In the confines of Midtown North Precinct, Signal 10-13, front of 140 West 57 Street, 6th to 7th on the cross, Signal 13 over Citywide from Dept of CA; Da,da,da,da,da,da,da";

I had no idea that I was the one who called that 10-13. All that I called for was 10-85(Meet with Supervisor), but that '85 Forthwith(Fortwit in Dietl-ese), meant 10-13 or "Call Out The Cavalry";

NYPD Transit Bureau District 4 arrived 1st, followed by Midtown North, Midtown South, Manhattan South Task Force, you name it, they came, faster than a crash of Microsoft Word on my iMac;

I was on sheer adreneline & scared S---less. A Lady Sergeant calmed me down. I apologized for not knowing what '85 Forthwith meant, but I had my prisoner, who was looking to become West 57th Street Roadkill, by running into the roadway to escape;

I gave my command to my perp in French, which went like this;

"Mettez Votre Mains La. Bouge pas toi ou Je vais te decendre";

Now the Brooklyn English Translation goes like this;

"Put your hands up on da car where I can see 'em. Don't move or I'll knock ya on your tuchas, capisce";

I then proceeded to cuff the perp & recited Miranda(Not Carmen Mirands)Warning, in French, which quite simply means "You got the right to STFU & all dat Jazz, capisce";

Went to Midtown North Stationhouse & processed the collar. I was later told by NYPD that I was the 1st to encounter the More-Violent Senegalese Vendors, who will fight for their goods. BTW, my perp was found to have a razor blade in his hair;

Just anutha tale of NYC from Random Fandom Red Sox NYC, with emphasis on my day job, in NYC!

I hope that you enjoyed reading this, because, even with the humor, it's a true story;

Peace;

Michael.