A Post 2000 World Series Joke-But Roger Hates The Punch Line
They entered Vatican City(Citta Di Vaticana), coming onto St Peter's Square. The Tour Guide greeted Them with "Benvenutti il Piazza Di San Pietro";
The Agitated Dude from The Houston Area, now in a cold sweat & 5 O'Clock Shadow, shouts @ the Tour Guide, screaming "Did I hear You Say 'Piazza'?"
The Tour guide, fearfully & calmly told the Dude that "This is Piazza Di San Pietro."
The Dude then grew violent. He opened a bag & threw a 98MPH Fastball @ The Obelisk. He topped it off by taking a broken bat & hurling it at the feet of The Swiss Guard Detail;
20 Guards of The Detail, tackle this dude, who's now telling the Detail that "Never have I been tackled by a bunch of faeries in my life like you. I wanna see your Boss. Y'all can kiss mah arse";
The Dude is dragged to the Office of The Prefect Of The Congregation For The Doctrine Of The Faith. The Prefect, one Josef Cardinal Ratzinger, a Powerhouse in his own right. In the Hallway passed US Ambassador To The Vatican, a Mr Raymond Flynn, a Standup Guy who used to be Mayor Of Boston & a Huge Red Sox Fan. The Dude called out to Mr Flynn, who looked @ the Dude & shrugged his shoulders, uttering "Your LACK Of Humility Has Caused A Commotion, which is WHY His Holiness Must See Me" & left;
Mr Flynn,& Cardinal Ratzinger are in the Room With Pope John Paul II. PJP II asked about the Commotion with The Swiss Guard. His Eminence remarked that The Dude, whose name in Latin means Merciful, was agitated as if on substances causing for bizarre stength. His Holiness then Remarked "Let me guess, but Roger Clemens must be going through "Roid Rage." He then sent Mr Flynn with a Special Message;
The Message from His Holiness through Mr Flynn was loud & clear:
"You disrespected my people in Boston, hence you're banned from & in Boston. You haven't met real Faeries until you've played for The NY Yankees, hence you're banned from The Public Square Of Saint Peter, as a Piazza is a Public Square, not some guy you hurl 100MPH Fastballs at. BTW, Signor Piazza has been Invited for a Private Audience, while you're invited to get lost";
Clemens spoke to Mr Flynn. He told Flynn he'll have PJP II's job the way he has Umpires Blackballed;
Flynn responded that ONLY the College of Cardinals can elect a Pope;
Clemens called the Hendrickson Brothers, his Agents & asked if he could arrange a trade to St Louis;