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Thursday, December 28, 2006

TOP 10 Signs You're At a Badly Done Novus Ordo Mass

#10: In Clown Mass Theme, Priest is dressed up as A-Rod, knicknamed "Father Slappy";
#9: Opening hymn in Boston is Sinatra Rendition of "New York, New York";
#8: Offertory Hymn in NYC is "Sweet Caroline";
#7:"Allelluia" sung to "MLB On FOX" Theme;
#6:Homily is given by Tim Mc Carver;
#5:Word For "The Evil One" is "Boras";
#4: Instead of Bells at the Consecration, it's all those "Whooshes" one hears on a "FOX Saturday Baseball" telecast;
#3:At the reading of announcements, Joe Buck asks "Are You All Having a Great Time?"
#2:Announcement is to promote the new series "December 45th' premiering Sunday, January 14th, '07 @ 9Eastern, 8Central on FOX";
#1:Altar Servers, in Clown Mass, wearing braids in honor of "Manny Being Manny";

Thanks to Peter N., in CT, for the Inspiration of "December 45th", which is January 14th;

I hope some "Liturgical Whiz Kid" isn't reading this, for fear this might be a "Theme Litugy" in his/her Parish;

This would NEVER Happen in The Traditional Mass.


Blogger kaylee said...

That post gave me a good laugh...I just got done watching Fear factor i think I want to go eat some cockroaches they did on Fear Factor.

4:54 PM  
Blogger laura said...

If even one of those things happened, I might be more inclined to go to Mass! Good stuff as always, Michael.

9:21 PM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Especially when an announcement of the World Television Premiere of "December 45th" on January 14th @ 9Eastern & Pacific, 8 Central & Mountain, only on FOX, would be something that Buck would contribute:

In real life, a Priest, dressed as Barney The Dinosaur, was denouncing Catholic Doctrine, somewhere in California, during Mass @ Halloween.

10:20 AM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Ick, Kaylee!


10:21 AM  
Blogger Suldog said...

Love #4, Michael - just as I hate the real things.

(The whooshes, that is. I love bells.)

Happy New Year!

1:14 PM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Happy New Year, Suldog & all here:

May the Upcoming Season be better;

Last year was a true test of our fanship.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Roaches carry huge amounts of Diseases, including Asthma, so "Ick, Ick, Triple ICK", Kaylee.

3:18 PM  
Blogger paramedicgirl said...

Michael, don't forget the homily on limbo, as performed by the priest doing the actual limbo for entertainment!

2:14 PM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...


The Homily on The Limbo, will be by Peter Mansbridge, Chief Correspondant of "The National" on CBC(At least according to "Air Farce" Standards);

Sounds like "Fr Slappy" will be that Gay Quebec Priest, elected to Parliament in Ottawa.

3:53 PM  

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