"K of C Free Throw Night On FOX"(A Satire)(Pre-Game)

Opening Theme is "FOX NFL Sunday"

Jim Brown: "We welcome everyone to 'Knights of Columbus Free Throw Basketball Championship Night on FOX', from our FOX Sports Studios, here on 6th Avenue & East 49th Street, joined by my FOX NFL Sunday Crew of Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long, Jimmy Johnson, with Mike Leggett & Monsignor Angelo Farrecchio, returning from last year, & as we go around, Terry, what are some of the things to look for in this contest";

Bradshaw: " Poised shooters like Miss Keara Liu, from last year & the real biggie, is just how many names will Tim Mc Carver, butcher on air tonight; like Ralph Kramden once said, 'You're a regular riot, Alice' & in last year's case, Tim, you almost started one. Howie?"

Long(Laughing): "One reference to last year's Supreme Council Champion, from Forest Hills, Queens, Tim kept confusing her with Bronson Arroyo, & calling her brother, Brandon, in reference to the ball-slap, in Game 6 of the '04 ALCS, by some dude named Ahab Machokesanwahd, & the nasty phone calls, from Alex Rodriguez & Bronson Arroyo, on that subject, with Derek Jeter, holding up a sign, promoting an Anti-Tim Website, was a real highlight, not to mention that Al Leiter, almost choking Tim, until that booth invasion by Mike Leggett & Company, was a real highlight. Jimmy";

Johnson: "Expect Mike & Co, to do a 'Coup In The Booth', but with Joe Buck, Sean Patrick, Mike Piazza, & Don Orsillo, it'll be a good night, though Mike & Co, will join the crew, making this look like a "Police Squad" movie scene, but funnier. Mike";

Mike Leggett: "In the words of Baseball Hall of Famer, Mets Radio Man, Bob Murphy, 'Ladies & Gentlemen, fasten your seat belts', it's gonna be a strange night. Monsignor";

Monsignor Farrecchio: "I laughed so hard, last year that tears streamed down onto my Powerbook; in a moment, the most-feared words, in the English Language, will be spoken. Those words will NOT be spoken by Sean Patrick, nor by us here, nor by Don Orsillo, nor Michael Piazza. Jim"

Jim Brown: "Joe Buck is standing by, in Forest Hills; Joe";

Buck: "& we welcome one & all to 'Knights of Columbus Free Throw Basketball Championship Night on FOX'; Joe Buck here, & will be joined in a few minutes by Tim Mc Carver; Mike Piazza is with us here, to reflect on some experiences, he's had in this contest";

Piazza: "In the days of 1979, I was 11, & that was the earliest age, you could participate, in the contest. I was the short, squat kid, whose throwing ability was limited, & only sank 4/15, so Baseball became my thing, as a hitter & catcher";

Buck: "Mike, you had an interview with a a huge Texas Kid, named Billy, & we're going to roll that tape, now";

Tape is rolling:

Billy(As it turns out), is William Roger Clemens: "I was the gangly kid, that everyone really demanded a birth certificate from, to make sure that I wasn't a ringer. Back in 1976, we didn't have video games & computers, & I'm glad that the Contest is still as popular as ever. But, Baseball is still my passion."

A close-up photo, shows Clemens & Piazza, both signing Basketballs @ a K of C Free Throw Contest, in Maryland.

Buck: "Knights of Columbus Free Throw Basketball Championship Night In America on FOX", is brought to you by Apple Computer, maker of the 200GB iPod, by T-Mobile, & by the Knights of Columbus.

Buck: "Public Address Announcer, Carl Beene, will kick off tonight's ceremonies-let's listen in";

Beene: "Ladies & Gentlemen, Boys & Girls, Welcome to the 2010 Edition of the Knights of Columbus Free Throw Basketball Championship. Tonight's Musical Show, is from The Boston Popular & Boston Symphony Orchestras.
Ladies & Gentleman, Boys & Girls, would you please Rise, & join in The Singing of The National Anthems of Canada & The United States. Both Anthems will be sung by Soloist, Ms Ashley Solu. Please direct your attention to the Colour Corps of The General Steven Boylan Assembly 4th Degree Knights of Columbus;

As the Combined Orchestras played, Ms Solu was elegantly-dressed, & sang both Anthems. She received a Thunderous Standing Ovation, for those renditions.

Back in The Booth;
Buck; "& we have just been joined by Tim Mc Carver";
Tim: "That Young Lady's Renditions, have left me SPEECHLESS";
Buck: "& THAT, Tim, is THE BEST News of The Evening-Free Throw on FOX is Next."

This has been a Parody-Presentation of FOX Sports.
(FOX NFL Sunday Music is rolling).

Time for a commercial message from your local FOX Station.

(Click on The Title-Here's Your Chance to tell Tim & Company, to "Shut Up").