The sleepy hamlet of South Park, CO, south of Denver, has been awarded a $124M grant, as it is considered to be a prime target for terrorists. Eric Cartman, Town Coordinator of Homeland Security, made this following announcement:
“In light of the fact that New York City has no National Monuments to protect, we have a National Monument called “Mc Cormack’s Cove”, which is under weekly attack. The main resident is named Kenny & he’s always getting killed on a weekly basis. He got killed one week, when some dude on TV uttered the words ‘The Fundamentals are a fundamental part of a Baseball Game; Derek Jeter could tell you that.’"
"OMG-That KILLED Kenny; That Bastard!"
“A Reverse-TV Signal-Stealer is being purchased to block out the offending TV dude & replace him with re-runs of ‘Drawn Together’, where the super heroes are gay dudes. I know that Big Gay Al will love that.”
A spokesman for “FOX Saturday Baseball”, declined comment.
Which Asshat Mc Blohole in Homeland Security, came to the conclusion to cut funding & send the money to Dung Heap, KY? Terrorists will stick out like a bloody glove in a place like that.
Click on the Title & read a great story on the outrageous new funding policy.